im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she peed on how many people?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
