Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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