You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
