No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
