Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
