the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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