and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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