Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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