I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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