Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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