It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
