in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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