is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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