I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
