He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
