suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
