Swine flu is the new snow day.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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