:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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