I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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