someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want to make out with him forever
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
