did you get engaged???
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you win again, gameday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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