it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
