Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
