Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize