so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
