Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize