porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize