she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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