love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
