fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it was like eating out sand paper
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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