I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
