Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
a search helicopter?!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
