Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
