i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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