So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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