Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
