He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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