look no pants
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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