Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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