He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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