he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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