You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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