The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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