I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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