Please, let me fuck your mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
