she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
