Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
