My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
