I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
