dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
