you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
