I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
