every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
