Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
