He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
