Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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