Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
