was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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