I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize