even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
