Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize