Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
