You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
