is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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